I'm just reading this now after getting into the AM system for already 10 months. I wish I had read this sooner to gain persepctive and save myself some money before I went in knee deep. But after my first lesson with the studio I feel in love with the atmosphere that it provided and the love of ballroom that I gained day after day.

I started to analyze what I was paying and went to every group class that they offered and it helped me move up in levels..but everyone is different. I've been dancing since I was little and I'm not saying Im a good dancer but you know your abilities. Also, everyone loves to hear they are good at something, you should just be honest with you teacher..if you hear a sales pitch be strong enough to tell them straight up...they probably don't hear that often but it's good to get them back into reality too..just be strong and don't give in all the time

I agree that if you love dancing...you would dance regardless and if the studio that you're in isn't for you then leave...just make sure you keep on dancing

I'm not going to bad mouth AM cause it's open the doors for me in so manyy ways that I never knew possible, and I learned alot about myself and the art of ballroom...it's hard to suck up the cost at times with the cost of living rising but my passion for dance is what keeps me there and the friendships that I've gained.

I've grown fond of my instructor and I can see how people get caught up in some of the BS that some instructors give and feed off your fantasies..just try to be strong..it's hard when you grow an attachment and you can't to close but remind yourself that its their job and if you do care for them and what they have done for you then you wouldn't mind paying for that cost.

it's sad to hear that there isn't many good AM studios out there but in northern CA there are a few and I'm happy I stepped foot into mine...

I agree! Keep Dancing!

Do you for any chance attend the AM in Hayward?

"I've grown fond of my instructor and I can see how people get caught up in some of the BS that some instructors give and feed off your fantasies..just try to be strong..it's hard when you grow an attachment and you can't to close but remind yourself that its their job and if you do care for them and what they have done for you then you wouldn't mind paying for that cost."

If you see that they are just feeding your fantasies, you need to respect yourself enough to separate from people who don't truly care about you, but just pretend to. While you're busy daydreaming about that relationship being real, you could meet someone who actually does care for and like you for who you are, not your money. And you could have an actual relationship, not this teacher/student fantasy. You deserve the real thing! And you won't get it until you stop this nonsense. I was scared by your last line- you care about a person that pretends to care about you, so you'll pay for that?!?! Why don't you go to a studio without all this baggage and use your teacher to teach you only? I am sure they will still care for you as a student, but not everyone will play these cruel games with you. I would be totally creeped out, not attracted to, someone who pretended to like someone they didn't. You are smart enough to know it's not real, but what kind of person is your instructor to go around leading people on? You deserve better- financially, in your dancing, & as a human being.

everyone needs to start somewhere.
yes some studios are very unethical and that is what it is. If you feel you are being taken, trust your instincts. I suggest looking for an area ballroom dance club. You will meet people who take lessons from different studios and thier input and suggestions can be very helpful

I've been going to AM for almost three years and I am ashamed to tell my friends how much money I've spent. But I think I have finally had enough. Recently I've been pressured to purchase 8,000 dollars worth of lessons. What bothers me is that I only take one lesson a week and I still have 4 months worth of lessons pre-paid and they are trying to squeeze money out of me already. It is all about money

I am so out of there

Twinkle. . . I hope that you have quit that AM, as your post indicated. I to am ashamed to tell friends how much I spent at AM. And they pushed and pushed to get more and more lessons on the books. When I quit I had 60 lessons on the books and they were pushing me for more purchases. I had to meet with the studio owner before getting my refund and pretend that I needed the money for a family emergency. I would have rather told her the truth, that I was finally pushed too far and came to despise her and her studio.
So I truly hope that you followed through and quit. It was phychologically so very hard to quit, with the attachment they worked so hard to breed in my to my teacher.
I imagine that there are some AMs out there that are honorable, but yours is not! Telltale sign, you had 4 months of lessons and they were pushing more on you!

Really Three Years, either you must be really stupid to stick around a place you really enjoyed for three years, I mean wow, you must really hate being happy. Or you are just bitter for some reason. (Personal self doubt maybe?)

"Really Three Years, either you must be really stupid to stick around a place you really enjoyed for three years, I mean wow, you must really hate being happy. Or you are just bitter for some reason. (Personal self doubt maybe?)"

Perhaps you missed the part where the poster said that they had been encouraged to spend unreasonable amounts of money.

Just being happy doing something is not sufficient reason to keep doing it, if it's not affordable, or a not a good value for the money compared to other ways of dancing.

Most of these chains really do push relationship and they use it to manipulate you so you will pay. That is the ultimate in bad business practice. If in my practice I used relationship in this way I would be stripped of my license...called on the carpet for being unethical and I would deserve the punishment.

Don't reward these people for manipulating you!! Love the ballroom but don't fall for the games.

WHile I'm at it...yes there are expensive components to this as there are to any other obsession but there are plenty of methods you can employ in reputable firms to learn to dance without breaking the bank. You can go all pro/am and that costs a ton. You can also go to group lessons and really gain a lot of valuable understanding at a bargain price without the manipulation.

Throw in the fact that you also begin to create community with other dancers and expand your possibilities...including possibly finding a friend or dance partner. I actually really like the practice I'm getting in my group classes (I am supplementing pro/am). It gives me some real drill and I have a real barometer by which to judge my progress. Not just what my instructor says.

I dance because it sets my soul free. I don't dance because I'm lonely, or competitive or any other reason. I dance because I love it, and I refuse to allow other's greed or my own vanity to supercede that which has become a basic need. I need it like I need air or food.

I won't limit myself to the arms of one person. No!!! All dancers aren't equal but its amazing to learn your own strengths and weaknesses in the arms of another. I wasn't learning that when I danced with just an instructor. I was also keeping myself from dancing with all kinds of people. I have to tell you its great to be in one of those classes and to feel the difference in the men's leads as they get stronger and understand more, and as you learn too!! It's wow you feel excited for the people who suddenly make a leap....

Okay I'm going on and on....

Bottom Line....There are a lot of sharks in the world of ballroom...the ones that are doing the best job of luring you are probably the ones that are most likely to really think you are prey. It doesn't mean you can't live symbiotically for awhile....but eventually sharks do get hungry...